How Coaches Become Family – A tribute to the late Rich Bernasconi

By: Liam W. Cooney | Staff Writer

What I have always loved about sports is the comradery shaped amongst those who put their blood, sweat, and tears into a common goal. Winning, losing, preparing for a game or match, brings you and those you are working with closer than you can ever otherwise imagine. These relationships form from player to player, coach to player, and player to coach. Coaches have the unique ability to not only fill the role of athletic coach, moving around Xs and Os, breaking down film, but to further connect with their players on a deeper level. For some players, coaches can become father figures, someone to aspire to be, someone to idolize, someone to call a mentor. Those coaches who not only possess the smarts of their sport, but the ability to galvanize their players in a way that commands their respect and admiration, are the coaches worth playing for. Quite candidly, coaches can fake Xs and Os to a certain degree, you can't fake love and care for your players.

From my experience as an NCAA intercollegiate athlete, your teammates and coaches are who you spend by far the most time with on campus. You eat together, live together, study together, go to class together, study film together, and of course, practice and play together. You take trips together, make memories together, some good and some not so good, and you certainly make memories that last a lifetime.

I have played lacrosse formally since I was 5 years old. So in theory, I'm going into my 15th season as a lacrosse player. Over those years I have been blessed with coaches who have molded me into not only the lacrosse player, but the young man I am today. To this point of my life, I don't think there has been a coach that has more become family as much as the late Rich Bernasconi. Coach Bernasconi began coaching at Salve in the fall of 2020, that first spring being the infamous Covid season that was abruptly brought to a screeching halt. He has prior coaching experience at the middle, high school, and college level, forming the first NCAA varsity team at the Wentworth Institute of Technology in 1995. Since retiring and moving to Rhode Island full time in 2018, he had spent a large amount of his time giving back to the community in the form of coaching youth leagues, camps, and private lessons. Because of this, if you were a young kid playing lacrosse in or around Aquidneck Island in the past 5 years, you knew who Coach Rich was and what he did for the local Lacrosse community.

Since moving to Rhode Island, Coach Rich, or "Scones" as some often called him, was like an uncle to me. He and my father had played lacrosse at Roger Williams together in the early 90s, and as so many college teammates/roommates/friends do, they stayed in touch. Not the first time I met him, but the first memory I had of the late Coach Rich was when I was twelve or thirteen years old. My Dad and I had met him at a high school lacrosse showcase, which is where players from across the region/country come to play in front of numerous college coaches in the hopes of getting recruited. Rich was there to watch his son, Luke, play. I remember Rich saying to my Dad, as we watched his son Luke play, "Oh he'll be here one day," pointing to me. That moment made me smile at the time, and while seeming far out in terms of years, it came, and it came in the form of Coach Rich being one of my college coaches, one of my biggest supporters. Coach Rich was an incredibly charismatic and affectionate person. His love for the game of lacrosse was insurmountable, and us as players recognized his love, care, and dedication each and every day. He had his fair share of ridiculous and comical sayings, some such as "Oh wowwwww," when seeing a good play, "Knows his way around a squat rack," describing someone who spent a lot of time in the weight room, and for more lacrosse termed language "Poke!!" These sorts of lighthearted sayings were priceless now looking back. For some of my teammates, they have already taped "POKE" around the bottom of their helmets, which in the sport of lacrosse is a somewhat popular thing to do if there is a quote, idea, or person meaningful enough to you.

What I will miss most about Coach Rich is his telephone calls with my Dad, mostly about lacrosse, the car rides with him to and from lacrosse events (as we mostly spoke about lacrosse), as well as him visiting the weight room during one of our difficult lifts and talking to us and saying something like "Oh wowww." I'll also miss coming home from work and seeing him sitting on my couch with a beer in his hand. That was always a surprisingly unexpected yet wonderful sight. That weird uncle (that isn't biologically your uncle), that was Coach Rich to me. As for my teammates, we have spoken about how strange it has been without him at practice so far this fall. It feels aloof, different, uncomfortable, something just feels off and it feels like someone, or something, is missing. Something is missing, and it is the energy he brought to practice each and every day. After a full day of classes, lifting, and everything else within our lives, you can bet we went all out for a 7PM-10PM practice when Coach Rich was there cheering us on. It was a difficult summer for the Salve Lacrosse community, as a good coach is someone that can never truly be replaced.

Not everyone is a student-athlete, yet everyone has something in their lives that forces them to meet people that leave a lasting impression upon them. It may be your theater stagecoach, a high school teacher that told you that you are capable, an older neighbor that you form a bond with, or an unlikely friend you became incredibly close with. For me, simply due to how I spend much of my free time, my coaches and teammates are who I've made these larger-than-life connections with. I'm fortunate and spoiled enough to say that Coach Rich, for me, is not the only coach/teammate that I have felt this sort of bond with, but he's certainly number one. For as long as I'll play the game of lacrosse, and for as long as I live, I will remember the impact Coach Rich had on myself, my teammates, and the New England/Rhode Island lacrosse community. I'm quite sure my teammates can say the same. So, that person or those people in your life right now that have this sort of impact upon you, take it upon yourself to let them know how much they mean to you, and just how much you appreciate what they have done for you. If you have yet to encounter this type of individual, just wait. They will come, and your life will be ever more enriching for it.

Rest in Peace to a great one, Coach Rich Bernasconi.

--story courtesy of SRU Mosaic--